Sunday, June 15, 2014

Moscato & Whisky -- Who Knew?

Except for body mass temporary misplaced in March due to mild pneumonia, the past several months have been glaringly uneventful in the whisky and weight department. A few weeks ago, however, I bought a big box of Franzia Moscato for my wife, which she kindly rejected without threat of divorce, and I was left with the daunting task of how to dispose of it. Neither the food bank nor the homeless shelter would accept a tax-deductible donation of insanely cheap boxed Moscato, so I did the only other act I'm capable of ... I mixed it with R&R whisky. The last thing I expected was to discover anything, but suddenly I experienced an elation that has only been felt before by the likes Madam Curie, Jonas Salk, or the two guys that collided with chocolate and peanut butter. Moscato & whisky is a Thing®. It's Abbott & Costello, it's Lennon & McCartney (pre-Yoko), Pinkman and White, Woody and Buzz (and also the Pixar characters of the same name). What sets mixing these two alcoholic drinks together apart from others is that there is no wrong proportion. Each ratio yields a new drink as different and delicious as the next (grammatical error intended because I like it). Add a dash of whisky to Moscato, and you've got something like apple wine. Add a healthy dose, and you've produced a more palatable sherry. Half and half will give you a poor man's (that's me) Drambuie. And a pinch of Moscato to Canadian Whisky miraculously turns it into a bottom-shelf bourbon. To recap:

Moscato (99%)  →  →  →  →  →  →  Whisky (99%)
Apple juice → Sherry → Drambuie → Bourbon

Now go and enjoy this cheap and thoughtless gift I bestow upon you on this fine Father's Day.

[+] What I've Weighed Since Last Post ...