Monday, April 1, 2013

A is for Anonymous -- 0.08572895793 metric tons

Remember, remember
The fifteenth of November
The whisky treason and plot
I know of no reason
Why the whisky treason
Should ever be forgot

For over eight months we have been watching you, your campaigns of offbeat information, your pathetic struggle against weight, and your barley-biased nature ... Anonymous has therefore decided that your diet should be destroyed.

We know you to be Freemason, as was the scotch-lover Robert Burns before you, and as is the Scotch Whisky Association a secret masonic lodge.

The attacks against you, scotch, and Freemasonry will continue in order to protect the right to freedom of drink, and end what we believe to be the financial exploitation of single malt drinkers.

What he consumed yesterday:
● 2 game wardens
● 7 hunters
● A cow
● Cask of distilled malted barley

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