Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sunday Sermon -- 195 lbs (-34) [3X]

Last week I was involved in a discussion about dieting with work mates when an unfamiliar fellow proudly chimed in that he had lost 16 lbs in 2 months on the green coffee diet. Somebody mentioned that I was on the whisky diet, and after a short laugh, the conversation turned to the more serious, plausible, and exciting green coffee diet. At every turn, the concept of a whisky diet is dismissed as a joke, and yet its roots are firmly entrenched in history and science. It is only at odds with present day society, with its incongruent, displaced obsession of striving to be healthy while being woefully unhealthy.

We live in strange times, when weathermen are still no better at predicting the weather than a Ouija board, when new scientific findings seem to invalidate what was held to be true just yesterday, only to be contradicted again tomorrow, when everyone is offended by anything, and when people are too insecure about their livelihoods to be genuine.

The whisky diet is not a joke. It is a backlash against the falsehoods that modern life holds dear, and it puts the green coffee diet, and its ilk, to shame. There is a deep reason why alcohol has been with us since the beginning, and whisky in particular has fueled countless philosophers, artists, and leaders. Alcohol, like nature in general, is a substance to be controlled and tamed in a civilized manner, in order to reap its benefits, rather than avoided because we can't handle it and don't want others to succeed where we fail.

Diets of the world, go fuck yourselves!

Note: It is a general facet of dieting that anyone successful in a diet will become cocky and condescending--I am no exception in this matter.

What I consumed yesterday:
● 2 coffee w/ 3 tbsp whiskey
● .5 cup Wine Cube cabernet/shiraz
● 50 ml Jack Daniels whiskey
● 3 Nabisco Handi-Snacks cracker & cheese w/ slice of swiss cheese
● .5 cup Monarch of the Glen whisky
● McDonald's chipolte bbq chicken snack wrap
● 12 McDonald's french fries
● 4 oz Swiss Miss Triple Chocolate Dream pudding
● 50 ml Early Times whiskey
● .72 cup Evan Williams whiskey
● 6 Fosters Farm turkey meatballs w/ shaved parmesan & cheddar cheese cubes
● 1 cup Wine Cube cabernet/shiraz
● 14 mini pretzels
● Coffee w/ 3 tbsp whiskey
● 8 pretzel M&M's
● Big slice garlic bread

No comments:

Post a Comment